Between The Lines

Information:

• Source: Approved Measures Notebook
• Key: G Major
• Measures: 61
• Parts: Cello and Piano
• Duration: 2:52
• Pages: 5 Pages

The art of reading between the lines is as old as manipulated information.
By Serge Schmemann

Hello,

Who am I?, The answer to that question is, more or less, difficult to pinpoint. Although, I have to admit, over the spam of my life time, more than once, for the sake of my own sanity, I have not been interested in knowing who I am, because, going on and on in endless circles inside my mind, or wherever my thoughts live, is not my idea of fun.

However, it is indeed, during the most difficult times, that my mind demands an answer, as if by knowing, it would help to solve, all at once, my conflicting existence; hence, it is only logical to inquire, with a sense of urgency, about myself to myself.

To live a full life, abundant in festive moments, and simultaneously, making sense of the world, it requires of me, to master the difficult art to ignore the opinion of most, to acknowledge the advice of few, and to trust, completely, all the people I loved. Knowing all the same, that thoughts are not threats, feelings are not facts, but, I must embrace both.

At times, the labyrinth in which my very existence is tangle, seems vast, dark and scary. No matter how hard I tried, the struggles never end. Life could be sometimes a diabolical fight against an invisible opponent. Letting the world go on without me, if only for just a moment, it’s a proper coping mechanism and it is of assistance, if I remember to turn it on.

One way to achieve the isolation from the world is with music. I spent some time writing this piece amid experiencing an internal turmoil. My mind was locked in an obsessive mood asking who I was, but also, what was my place in the world, and where I was going, to no avail. At the end, I surrendered, and allowed myself to be left to my own devices.

I sat down to play the piano. Mozart’s Sonata for piano number four in E flat Major was in front of me. As I was playing, the sweet melody fill the air and, instantly, I was transported to a much better world, a world where, I did not need to know all the answers to meaningless questions, my only concern in the world at that moment was, the music and I.

Mozart wrote some of the most beautiful melodies, why not include a shred of his cleverness into my composition. The result is this piece I am sharing. The idea was to create a tool that I can use to abandoned the world without a second glance, but also, remembering, that it will take me back when or if I feel ready to confront it.

I have included four of the most beautiful measures from his Sonata into my composition. Editing, changing, moving and re-thinking and changing again, until it reached, well, a level of acceptance to my likeness.

Written in the key of G Major, this piece represents both, order and chaos in me, as pretty and ugly things in the world infiltrate in my life simultaneously. I will force a smile at the pretty conditions and I compel a shrug of resignation to the ugly ones for, sometimes, it is better to let it go.

There are things and people in the world I wish wouldn’t exist, because their existence alone, coerce me into questioning, and with a reason, my place in the world. Ugly things and rude people don’t deprive me permanently of my strength. But, I do question their place in the world, and all the answers that I could possibly can come out, do not add up.

The poet and author Gwendolyn Brooks wrote: Read between the lines, do not swallow everything. But every so often, I have to read not only between, also BEYOND the lines.

Trying to reason who I am, is equal to the vast labyrinth I’m navigating. The answers to who I am, will be this or that, the responses will be, no doubt, unsatisfactory. However, with the good use of music, I am able to bury the unpleasantness of the world.

In my quest to know who I am, it is necessary I look at my surroundings, I have to read between the lines, and do not swallow everything, because, nothing is what it seems in the world.

If you are reading this letter, and thinking that I am completely dejected from reality, perhaps clinically depress, perhaps, that I am on a verge of a mental breakdown. That’s the furthest from the truth; for all I know, you didn’t follow the advices of G. Brooks and did not read between the lines.